[Disclaimer] This is a super personal post. This is me. A tiny vulnerable bird. There are things in here that I don’t really talk about. It’s because they’re hard to TALK about with most people. I battled with whether to post this or not, but I wanted to do it . For me. For you. It’s okay to not be okay. Talk to people about the feelings and emotions in your heart. I’m not perfect, but I’m definitely trying to get better at it. I’m lucky to have wonderful friends/mentors/family to talk to. Talk to people. Talk to me. Get professional help if needed. Human voice and human connection are life changing. I like you. xo
Thank you. For absolutely everything. I listened to and read Sounds Like Me in one sitting. It made me laugh (a lot), smile, and maybe cry a little. You wrote so much heart and life into it’s pages, and it really tugged at my heartstrings. I was the crouton cereal girl. I was a girl that didn’t know jeans were like, a thing, and sported bright red sweatpants in middle school. I was a girl that wore her curly hair pulled up so tightly in a bun that halfway through the year, had to cut out a knot the size of Pluto (space jokes…. but seriously though. It was not a cool time) and hid in a beanie. Kids are mean. This is not a pity party though, that was a LONG time ago. I just want you to know just how grateful I am for Sounds Like Me. For you. The book is heartbreakingly relatable and you are an inspiration to all of the beautiful girls out there. The girls that don’t know they are beautiful, yet. because…well, they most definitely are. “Sometimes my little voice can say the biggest things” Your voice is not so little anymore, and for that, I’m grateful.
I’ve been ridden with social anxiety most of my life. Growing up it was tough and I never really talked about it. “I’m just shy. It’s whatever.” When I was a kid, I didn’t even know Social Anxiety Disorder existed. I finally started to understand and talk about it as an adult. Emotionally, college is a rough,scary,and wonderful time. I figured it out. I talked with a counselor. I opened up with people I trusted, and it truly changed my life. Talking to people about the feelings and emotions in your heart is truly, very important. Music has always been a constant. When I didn’t know how to feel, or what I was feeling, I’d put tunes my earbuds and just listen. Gravity. Let the Rain. Uncharted. Just a few little tracks that got me through the unknown.
Most importantly, you have touched the lives and inspired so many other people. Just by being the amazing lady that you are. I joined the sarabfans community on a whim five years ago, after falling into an internet black hole and discovering it on Google. I didn’t know it then, but that community (and those lovely humans) would become some of my greatest friends ( I’m looking at YOU Jill, Beckett, Clem, Jen, Cristina, Yaryn, Haley, Courtney, etc. <3333333) Sarabfans introduced a newfound confidence in me — something that was buried deep down. I actually made cover videos with #sarabfriends (I’m going to start that hashtag. Just watch) and posted them to the internet. I love them. They’re wonderful. You’re wonderful.
It is comforting to know that yes, it’s sometimes okay to be a little bit of a lost twenty-something. Two years ago, with ‘Chasing The Sun’ in my earholes, I packed up and moved across the country. I knew ONE person in the city I was moving to. It was a fresh new start. By far, it’s the bravest thing I’ve ever done — that, and toying with the idea of doing community theater in the near future (OMGZ)! My little voice is getting out there. Yes, sometimes I’m embarrassed to say namaste at yoga, or get nervous butterflies before meeting with people for dinner, but I know that that is okay. Anxiety means that I’m human. Not a robot. I accept it. And let it fly away when it’s ready.